Imagine praying and hearing this:

Thank you for calling God's house. Please select one of the following four options:

Press 1 for requests.
Press 2 for a thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries.

What if God used the familiar excuses?

"All the angels are helping other customers right now. "

"Please stay on the line.  Your call will be answered in the order received."

Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in prayer?

If you'd like
to speak with Gabriel, press 1.;
for Michael press 2;
for any other angel, press 3.
To speak to Solomon about questions needing his Wisdom, press 9 (Note: on Tuesdays and Thursdays Dr. Laura will be subbing for Solomon.)
If you'd like King David to sing a Psalm for you, press 6."  (please note that we cannot honor requests for specific psalms)
To find out if a relative is here, enter his/her  name, date of death and listen for the list that follows.
For reservations at MY FATHER'S HOUSE, simply press the letters , then dial 1-800-J-O-H-N, and ask for extension #3-1-6.
Our Caller ID  shows that you are not authorized to use this number.
Stay on the line and your call will be forwarded downstairs."
This office is closed for the weekend.  Please call again Monday.

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